Monday, December 6, 2010

This is the longest week EVER!!!

I am so ready to go home and time is flat out crawling by.

I'm a bit apprehensive about how things are going to play out while we're at home though. I'm already getting flack from both sides of the family. Luckily for us Matt and I are from the same place. Interesting since he had 4 years into the Army when we met. But he happened to be stationed at a base back home and we were lucky enough to meet. So thankfully both our families are in the same place as well. Which means no arguing about whose family we are going to see when we go on vacation and which family we are going to skip out on. When we go home, we see everybody. Including people we don't care to see lol.

The down side of that is that everyone wants tons of time with us. When it was just Matt and I it wasn't too big of a deal. We split time between everyone but he could take off to his family for the day while I stayed with mine. Now that we have Logan, we have to make a very serious effort to split time equally because everyone wants to see and spend time with him. Since this is the first time so many people are meeting him, its even worse.

I'm flying home 4 days ahead of Matt. The second day I am home I am going with my mother in law to get our hair done. We go to the same hairstylist who is a long time family friend of hers. I'm taking Logan so she can spend some extra time with him and we'll get to girl chat too. Plus she has offered to take me clothes shopping for my xmas gift and since I can't wear any of my pre-Logan jeans we'll probably be doing that as well that day. My grandmother seems to think that I don't need to be going to spend time with Matt's mom before Matt gets into town. Um....hello???? What am I supposed to do, call her and tell her that her grandson is 30 minutes down the road but she'll have to wait until Saturday to see him because Matt isn't here? I don't think that will go over so well.

Ugh, really just want to get home, see my friends and relax for a couple weeks. With all the extra help with Logan it will be so nice to get to spend some time with my husband as opposed to Logan's dad.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Negative

So I'm not pregnant again. Which let me just say is the biggest relief of my life at this point.

The week before Thanksgiving AF should have arrived. It never did. I'm on the pill and take it very reguraly. But as any girl who has been late can tell you, its never a good feeling when you aren't trying to get pregnant.

We opted to basically ignore it until after Thanksgiving and then the home pregnancy test relay began. 3 negative tests over 6 days. But I never got a positive test even when I was pregnant so I still totally thought I was. At this point I was closing in on 3 weeks late. Never happened before. So yesterday I went in for the blood test and it was negative as well. Since the test can show a positive within 2 days of conception, there is no possible way I'm preggo as its been well beyond that since any possible conception date.

So my dr put me back on my bc pill and chalked it up to my body simply being cranky about going back on the pill after being pregnant and giving birth, then breastfeeding and not breastfeeding and all that jazz.

Glad that is over and done with. We aren't even agreed about whether we want another kid at all. And I'm certainly not certain about having another one now.

Monday, November 29, 2010

I feel like I'm in a glass case of emotion, as Ron Burgandy would say.

I have some things going in my life right now that are going to cause some serious decisions for both Matt and I to make. Thankfully we've talked about these things a bit and I think we're in agreement of the general direction we want to go. And we are both committed to talking thru those decisions thuroughly and coming to joint decisions. And to supporting eachother as those decisions play out. I just wish that life came with a map to our individual journey so that we wouldn't need to make these decisions and worry about where they will take us.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I Thought You Were Supposed to be Working??

Matt was supposed to be on CQ today. Which means he works 9am-9am. So when he left the house this morning at 830 I expected to not see him until tomorrow morning. Perhaps he'd be able to make it home for dinner tonight after Logan was in bed. But the guy he's supposed to be working with told him he had a ton of homework and studying to do so as long as Matt was back by 6 tonight, he could split for a while. So Matt walked back in the door at 1030am.

I was kind of glad he walked in the door as I was vaccuuming. I really think he thinks Logan and I just sit all cherry and happy on the couch or on the floor all day long while he's at work. Nice for him to see that house things still have to be done and Logan is cranky when he's late for a nap or a bottle.

I have to say I was really looking forward to Matt working all day today. There is something nice about a day on my own schedule and able to do whatever I want with fella. When he's around he's constantly asking what Logan needs. "Do you need to feed him, does he need to be changed? Isn't it time for him to eat soon?" Yes, d-bag, I've got this under control and I love how you ask me what I need to be doing for the kid lol. Plus with Thanksgiving, we've had 72 hours of football on TV and I just can't take anymore. I'm so glad that the season is just about over. I don't care about the stats or the players or anything else. Of course he walks in the door, changes out of his uniform and immediately picks up the remote and puts on Sportscenter. UGH!!! Thankfully he went to go sleep for a while since he will be up all night. Again, this means I can't get some of the housework done that I need to get done. Plus he's working nights all week so it means lots of daytime sleeping for him. Again, just getting in the way.

He should head back in the next couple hours and I'm just ordering chinese for dinner. No cooking for me. Even when he works nights I make dinner and stick the extra in the fridge for him when he gets home, but today he's not coming home so he's on his own for food :) Probably pack up the last of the turkey leftovers so that he can take that with him.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

I'm feeling a little lost these last few days. I just feel sad. For what I'm not sure. I guess it could just be that I'm heading home in a couple weeks and the closer it gets the more homesick I realize I am. Or it could be something else entirely.

Thanksgiving went really well. Other than the annoyingly over the top PDA couple that decided to make out all over my house. I was not pleased and probably made it very clear to her with the evil looks I was throwing her way. But Matt spoke to them about it, then her boyfriend spoke to her about it. She threw a tantrum and pouted the rest of the time. So I threw her a couple glares and then completely ignored her exsistence. Making it clear that the only person's holiday she was going to ruin was her own. And possibly her boyfriends.

But as I was standing in my kitchen making dinner I started to cry. I just remember standing in the kitchen of my great grandparents and learning to make all these things from the time I was very little. Its always my favorite time of year, this season. Gramme loved the holidays because the whole family got together. She passed that on to me. After she died and certainly after Boompa died my grandmother didn't want to do anything for the holidays. It made her sad. But I knew how important those times were to Gramme and she would be furious if we didn't honor them. So I told her I would do all the work. The cooking, the decorating and all the wrapping. I needed that to continue.

So now that I live a lifestyle that doesn't always allow for me to be with my family at these times, I carry on that tradition here. I'm so thankful for those years spent on a chair at the stove and hours at the dining room table cutting and chopping because now I know how to do all those things. I can make a holiday meal like no one's business and I'll pass those lessons on to my kids. Whether they want them or not. I think Thanksgiving is particularly hard for me because I didn't go to her last one. I opted out of my families Thanksgiving to go to Matt's family. It was our first year dating and I didn't know his parents very well. I thought it best to make a good impression and accept their invitation to dinner. My family understood and wasn't upset of course, but had I known I wouldn't get another with Gramme........hindsight is 20/20 right. I guess and least I'm thankful for the fact that in the military you can always find people to share the holidays with. Someone always stays behind. And lets face it, I always have family with me. I have my husband and my son. It just seems so odd to me that Matt and I are Logan's family. We are our own family.

I'm sad for our friend Stephanie. She and her husband were trying to expand their family by another bouncy baby and she had a miscarriage last week. Its not a fun experiance if you've never had one. And for someone who is activily trying to get pregnant and have a baby it can be devestating. She is in a lot of grief and pain right now and nothing I can say to her will help. I feel badly because she is in NC and I'm here. I know we weren't super close while they were here but I so feel her pain and want to help her through it however I can. I suppose just being here to listen is the most help I could give her and I can certainly do that from a couple states away.

For now I'll focus on getting the last few things done around here that I need to before I leave for the holidays and then I'll be home with family.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Ah marriage. I've always heard everyone say that marriage is work. Not only is it work, but its hard work. I've never understood what that meant. How do you work on something like marriage? A relationship either works or it doesn't. And by the time you get married you should certainly know if your relationship can work or not. Marriage is about communication, compromising and love. All of which you should know whether or not you as a couple are able to do before you get married.

Except now that I'm married, I get that its work. Except I still don't know how the hell it is your supposed to work on it. We communicate. We are really good about talking to eachother about things and discussing before we do. We both compromise for eachother all the time. Not in a bad way, just in a it will make the other person happy so I'll do it for them. And obviously we love eachother. So what is it we are supposed to be working on? And when we figure that out how the hell are we supposed to work on it?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Pectus Excavatum

Matt is on leave this week. Originally we were going to drive to Dallas to visit his brother and his wife. We were both really looking forward to this trip. However Matt's kidney stone and the Army's reluctance to do anything to get rid of the thing has ruined our plans yet again.

He is having to see a urologist off Post and have a procedure done to remove the stone. I won't get into detail but it involves a claw on a very long stick and will be inserted via an already exsisting hole. I'm sure he'll be thrilled. Unfortunately since he has had it for so long they are also going to have to insert a stint to keep the urethra open whilst it heals and then about 10 days later he'll have to go in to have the same procedure to remove the stint. Poor guy.

We took Logan to his 4 month check up this week. He recieved one of the shots he needs and has to go back at the end of the week to recieve another that they were out of. He was a trooper though. Only cried for a moment or two and then was back to smiling and laughing at all the people he saw. He truly is an unusually happy baby. Something I am more and more grateful for everytime I see an unruly baby.

We also had to take him to get some chest xrays. He has had a depression in his chest since birth but it was slight and we were told it was only visible because he had lost so much weight after birth. As he grew it would fill out. Well it hasn't. In fact as he gains weight he is becoming more and more dominant. So I did a bit of research and had the xrays taken. Turns out I was right and he has a condition called Pectus Excavatum. Which is basically where his sternum bends back towards his spine instead of out towards his chest. Apparently he has a mild case, though I'm not sure what that means in relation to others but fine. It may need to be corrected as a teen. It may begin to impede his breathing ability and it may not. It's something we'll watch and begin to discuss corrective options when he's old enough to have some input and decision making ability.

Other than that he is completely healthy weighing in at 17.2 lbs and over 26 inches long.

I'm doing a Thanksgiving dinner here at the house for soldiers who aren't going home for the holiday. I've forbidden them from sitting alone in their barracks or homes and eating at the d-fac. No reason they can't enjoy a home cooked turkey dinner. Thank goodness my great-grandmother spent all those years insisting I learn how to prepare holiday meals. Now they won't go to waste.

In a little over a month Logan and I will be flying home to Seattle for Christmas. Matt will follow a few days later when block leave begins. I haven't been home in over 18 months and for Matt it will be just under 2 years so it will be nice to have a full 2 weeks home together. I have been thinking of possibly changing my flight and going home even a few days earlier since so many people have yet to see Logan. but really I don't want to spend the extra hundreds of dollars since we already spent close to a grand to fly home in the first place. Plus I think Matt would really miss Logan being gone that long. We'll see what happens.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Politics

Little Fella is finally starting to sleep thru the night. I can't tell you how exciting that is for me.

I'm a firm lover of politics. I love the dynamics of it all. I love a heated debate and I won't hesitate to take you on any issue if you disagree. I stand my ground and believe me I have the information to back it up. I believe what I believe for a reason, not just because someone else said it and it sounded smart so I repeat it. Which is amazingly what I find a lot of people doing. I watch a lot of political shows. Including those of the conservative right because even though I rarely come anywhere near agreeing with them, I do like to hear what they are saying and where their points of view are coming from. I am always amazed at the number of people I hear simply repeat what Glenn Beck said the night before.

But now, I'm so over politics!!!! Things have become so polarized. By both parties. The Republicans vote no on ANYTHING put up by Democrats simply because it was from Democrats. The Democrats are doing the same. Things have always been one side vs the other but it felt like things could at least get done. A little compromise from both sides and move on to the next issue. Now nothing gets accomplished. At what point do they pull their heads out of their ass and realize that the everyday American needs them to do their job?? When do the needs of the people come before party lines and lobbyist money???

I can solve a lot of the problems they can't seem to have a civil conversation about.

Healthcare- Congress has an AMAZING healthcare plan. So my question is what makes them so much better than us? Why do they work for the US Government and get awesome healthcare while Matt works for the Government and gets Tricare?? So I say give us what you have, or you have to have what we do. I promise, Congress has to deal with Tricare for 6 months and all of America would get a decent healthcare plan because Congress would have experienced the joy of a crappy system.

Immigration- I may be a very liberal person but I think Arizona has it right when it comes to illegal immigration. I have to carry around my ID at all times. Shoot, living on a Military Post I have to carry TWO forms of identification at all times to prove I belong here...what's wrong with that? The law doesn't say they can just walk up to someone on the street and demand to see their "papers", its if they are pulled over or detained for something else. Its called a secondary offense. Also, there is ABSOLUTELY no way in hell that illegals who are already here should be given citizenship. How the hell does that DETRACT more people from coming over the boarder??? Also this Dream Act that allows kids of illegals who were born here or grew up here to get citizenship if they attend college or join the military??? Ummm...no. Sorry that your parents made a bad decision and you have to pay for it but really??? Come in through the proper channels and reap the rewards. Everyone else gets sent home.

DADT- I'm so over this. Gay Guy can die, but can't kiss his boyfriend goodbye. Whatever. Aren't Governmental jobs not allowed to discriminate for sexual preference?? My SIL is gay and works for the government and they moved her and her non-legal wife to Mexico because they are non-discriminitory employer....so this makes no sense to me. If one group isn't recognized than I shouldn't be recognized as a spouse either. Don't get me wrong, the perks are great, but as long as Logan is covered I would gladly give up mine until friends can have theirs. Mel has been with her partner for like longer than I've been alive but she gets nada....when a tag chaser can hook up with a guy and get all entitlements after a drunk trip to Vegas 3 months in to a relationship??? Again....no.

Whatever, I'm moving to Canada.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Rest of the Year

It's almost October people!! Why is it still in the mid-upper 90's here? Fall is my favorite season and living in the south has completely robbed me of enjoying it....*growls*

Anyway, on to other topics:

Logan's halloween costume arrived and I think it would be too big for my 17 month old niece!! Definately need to send it back and exchange for the smaller side. He's in 6 month clothes so I ordered the 6-12 month size. Apparently the measure based upon the Amazonian scale.

The rest of the year is going to be bittersweet.

October is awesome because its my birthday! 26 and man does that make me feel old. I'm on the downside to 30 and somehow I don't feel any older than 19 in a lot of ways. But its also the last month with our closest friends here and then they are on the move. Its also Logan's first Halloween so that will be fun. My brother is also deploying at some point in October. About 9 months in Afghanistan. Awesomeness.

November we are heading to Dallas for a long weekend with Matt's brother Shawn and his wife Anne. Other than Matt's mom they are the only relatives of his that I like and care to spend anytime with. It will be almost 2 years since we last saw them so we're really looking forward to catching up with them. Its also Thanksgiving. My second away from home. Last year was not bad at all. We had several friends who also opted not to go home and came to our house for dinner. Gave me my first opportunity to cook a turkey which turned out awesome thank you very much. Plus my brother was here so there was still a touch of family. This year we're staying here but those same friends will all be at their new posts and no family will be visiting. So like every other holiday here, I'll be extending an invitation to all the single soldiers who aren't going home and a couple or two who will be here too. I really hate spending holidays alone. We'll see how many we can squeeze into the house.

December is nothing but good things. We are flying home this year. After spending last year here I'm not missing another one. Not to mention its Logan's first one and with my brother gone I think my family might crack if we didn't get there. I'll be there about 16 days and Matt will hopefully only be a couple days behind me. I'm hoping for extreme rain, grey and gloom. No snow. I can't handle snow another year there. After last time when we were stranded at his parents for days, then at my parents for days it was just too much. So lots of wind and rain but if I see snow anywhere I'm dragging the space heaters out to the driveway if I have to.

I'm definately ready to head home for a visit. Its been over a year and a half since I was there last. Longer for Matt. I miss it. Definately need to make it a habit of going home at least once a year. Hopefully every 6 months or so from here on out.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

9/12

I'm so glad 9/11 is over. Its not that I'm insensitive to the tragedy of it all and how horrible it was. But at a certain point we need to grieve and move on.

I hate the way the whole country stops on 9/11 every year. We don't need 47 televised commerative ceremonies. We don't need to read off every single name of the people who died. We don't need every television special ever shown on instant repeat for the week leading up to 9/11.

I just feel like its been almost a decade. There is no reason for a woman who lost her husband to still be sobbing and unable to stand. You have to live your life and not let this day be a black cloud over it forever. Otherwise you may as well cast yourself as another life taken by the terrorists.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Dear _______

Army- I really dislike you sometimes. I'm tired of this crap unit and anytime you want to send us somewhere new, that would be great. I hate the immature idiots and their spouses that you let in. There really should be somekind of a maturity test you give along with the intellectual one. For both MM and spouse. Also, stop letting whores in. I hate you for my brother having to deploy. I hate you for paying such crappy money so I can't afford to go see him before he leaves and for my family to go home at christmas too. I hate you for the eventual deployment of my husband again.

I'm so thankful that someone in your ranks put this amazing soldier up for the Medal of Honor. I'm also thankful that the people who make the decisions finally gave it to someone. So many more men deserve this and I find it so disrespectful that it isn't given to all of them. Hopefully this will be the beginning of a turn in the tide when it comes to recognizing amazing men and women in our military. I'm also glad it is being given to an enlisted soldier and not an officer. For some reason it makes it seem a bit more meaningful to me.

Logan- We had an awesome couple nights there.....anytime you want to go back to sleeping through the night, your dad and I won't argue....

Dog- You are driving me crazy with your 3am barking sessions, knock it off or I'm putting you in the garage.

Terry Jones- You are ignorant and a bigot. I think its appalling that you and your hate followers are getting international media coverage. Next time you decide to burn a holy book some of my friends and I will meet you with a bon fire in the same field fueled by the bible. I see you have police escorts with you in NYC, they are bigger people than I because I'd let your dumb ass wonder the streets alone.

Colin Powell- Thank you for your wisdom to the masses and your ability to keep and even keel when speaking about idiot people and passionate subjects. I wish you would rethink your choice and run for office.

Summer- GO AWAY!!!!!!

Fall- Where the hell are you??

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Today is going to be a busy day I think.

Matt and I have some house chores to get done. Bathrooms, sweeping, dusting etc. Nothing at all fun.

Hernandez was supposed to come over yesterday evening for tutoring for the promotion boards coming up next month but something came up and he wasn't able to come. So I think he's coming over this afternoon instead. I'm not sure what time so I'm hoping Matt gets up before noon so that he can get all his stuff done. I absolutely hate when he leaves it until the last minute Sunday night. Makes me feel like its not going to get done and then it gets added to my list of things to do during the week. Trust me, I have enough of my own to do.

We're skyping with a few different people today. At least the baby and I are. I'm not sure that Matt will join in. Guess it depends on where he is in his schedule for the day. I really hope my mom is able to get her webcam up and running. She isn't exactly the most techy savvy person you're ever to meet.

Looks really grey and cloudy outside this morning. Not as warm as it has been, still warm and humid but not nearly as much. We'll see how the day unfolds though. I think I remember the news saying that its supposed to be fairly hot today. We did get some rain and thunder yesterday which was nice. Does feel like fall is beginning to move in.

Hoping to buy our tickets home in the next couple days. Looking for some stellar deals!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Stupid Summer, Stupid Heat

These 3 am tummy time sessions that my son is making a habit of are getting a bit out of hand. I'm going to have to figure out a way to curb them.

Have I mentioned lately just how much I absolutely detest living in the south? I find it so utterly difficult to resign myself to the fact that I will mostly be living in some area of the south for the next 15 years while Matt finishes out his Army career. I am simply not bred for humidity. So I've spent the entire summer inside. I actually think I'm more pale now than I ever was during the winter.

I miss my 6 weeks of Washington summer. Where it never really gets above 80 and there is always a steady breeze.

Now we're heading into fall and I really hope its filled with those southern thunder storms. They really are the only thing about living down here that I truly love. Rain at least is a little part of home that I can still enjoy.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Sleeping Routine?

I'm on day 11 of a 14 day stretch and boy am I feeling it.

I've been thinking that its time to start getting a bedtime routine for Logan. He's just about 2 months old now and should start sleeping through the night before too long and he needs to have a routine to help him learn to put himself to sleep. As it is now he will only go down to bed if I rock him and pat his back for close to an hour before I even attempt to put him into his crib.

I'm just not sure what a proper routine should be. He is still at the point where he doesn't need a bath everyday, but it does relax him and help him sleep. Also, whats an appropriate time to put a baby down for bed? He falls asleep around 9 or 10 usually and Matt just puts him in the pack and play. Then he wakes up around midnight for a feeding and then Matt puts him in his crib because thats about the time he goes to bed too. So I guess we'll start putting him in the crib at that 9 time? Ugh....so much to figure out and I have no idea where to begin lol!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Martyr Mommys

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world who finds motherhood a pain in the ass from time to time. I mean really? I can't be the only person who girs tired. The only person who would love just one day that they don't smell like baby wipes and spit up. I'm so tired of people and their sanctimonious holier-than-thou comments when I mention handing the middle of the night baby duties over to my husband for a day. "mommies don't gets days/nights/time off..." this one does. My husband takes duty at least one weekend night a week and also when he gets home from work during the week so that I can go to bed early and get some sleep before I have to get up at 1am. Yes, I'm exhausted and I'm not going to be any good to my child if I don't get some kind of sleep once in a while. I refuse to play the martyr to my kid just becasue I'm expected to put on the facade of someone who just loves being a mommy sooooo much.

First of all, I'm not a "mommy", I'm a mom. I find that people who refer to themselves as "mommy's" only do it in front of others and its mostly for show. Why are you so worried what other people think of how your going about parenthood? Stop spending your time telling everyone how much of a mommy you are and actually mother your child. I love my son, don't get me wrong, but I'm not that mother who can't bear to be away from him for more than 30 mins. I wouldn't leave my son with someone who I don't feel is capable and competant to care for him while I'm gone. So why should I feel the need to call every 20 minutes just to make sure he's still breathing?

So if you can be a super mom who never sleeps, eats or showers than good for you. But I'm human with all the faults that come with it. So you can blow it out your ass.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

6 weeks

Another week down. I can't believe Logan is 6 weeks old already. It seems like its moved so fast, but also dragged on for months. Guess thats what sheer exhaustion will do for your sense of time management.

Logan is growing mentally and physically leaps and bounds in what seems like everyday. He's reaching for things and beginning to grab them. He can roll over from his stomach to his back but hastn't yet gotten the physics of rolling from his back to his stomach. He's almost there though. Its amazing to watch this little person grow and become aware of things for the first time. He's now enamered with the dog. He actively follows him with his eyes and when the dog comes for a sniff or two, Logan will reach out a hand. I really think they will end up being the best of friends and Matt and I will be pushed to secondary citizens in our own home.

Matt and Logan are building their relationship as well. What started out as both of them unsure about the other, has blossomed into an understanding that they aren't entirely sure how they should be going about this but they're in it together. While Matt started from a completely removed place, I'm so glad that he has taken such a hands on roll as of late with him. Let's be honest, it helps me out a great deal, but it is also giving him the chance to see the amazing things that I see happening everyday with Logan. I really think it will help them to have a stronger bond in the future.

I've started weaning Logan off breast milk and onto formula. He's taking rather well actually. A touch more fussy because he's a bit more gassy while he gets used to it but he's not having any issues digesting or anything so I'm keeping my fringers crossed. I'm noth thrilled about having to take him from nursing so soon at all, but my body seems to be done with it and I can't will it into doing someting it simpy isn't wanting to do anymore. So I'm embracing it and having a drink because now I can!

Matt and I are doing much better as well. Most days lol. We're still adjusting to being new parents and of course with that comes some ups and downs. But since my mom weas here he's really started to pick up a lot of the slack and it makes it so much easier to forgive his little annoyances. Plus I'm getting more sleep and that is always helpful to my mood.

Other than that our life is pretty boring. The few friends I have here, have husbands who were put on orders to Alaska and they will be gone by the holidays. Which suchs. A couple other girls here that I'm friendly with and would like to start a real friendship with seem to be in a hurry to get out of here too so I don't know that its even worth it to pursue it anymore. I'm not the most outgoing of people when around a new crowd so to make a friend is a big accomplishment for me and I hat that people are constantly coming and going. Especially with Matt wanting to change jobs. The Rigger field is so small that every place we go I know someone. Now that he's not going to be doing this anymore and will probably not continue to be Airborne either...who knows if we'll ever see any of these people again. Really just makes me want to pack up and go home. Don't get me wrong, I love being an Army wife. I love the sense of importance it gives Matt and he's really good at it. But the longer I'm away from home, family and friends, especially ince having Logan, the more I think if the economy didn't suck such as it does, I would tell Matt not to re-enlist and we could just go home.

We'll be home for Christmas though. Logan and I will be there a couple weeks early and Matt will follow us for the week or so of Christmas.

For now though....sleep is needed.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Crappy week

Where do I even begin. Its been such a cluster f*&% of a couple weeks and I just feel like the whole world is imploding on me and no one seems to be noticing.

Early last week several soldiers that work with Matt were busted for drugs. Because they were dumb enough to be smoking it in the Company parking lot while waiting for PT to start. Hello??? Dumbass: Party of 5. So that started a string of what would be long days. Every parachute these guys packed had to be found and broken down. Obviously no one wants to jump a chute packed by a person who was potentially high on drugs while they packed it. Good times. They had to sift through thousands of parachutes. It was a long couple days.

Just as they were finishing up that process another soldier was involved in an accidental shooting and died. We're not clear on the details but it happened after Matt and another NCO allowed him to leave work early and it left Matt reeling. He was feeling completely responsible and felt like everyone else at work was blaming him as well. All the emotions that go along with that and the possible reprocutions that he could have been facing all drug him down.

I tried to be as supportive as I could but what can one do really? All I can do is be there to listen when he felt like talking and let him process it for himself. I made a couple meals for the family and did what little I could for them while being 8 1/2 mos pregnant and on limited bedrest.

This week is the beginning of investigations and the memorial and then hopefully everyone can start to head back to some sense of normalicy. I think everyone needs their minds on something else for a while.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

I'm here I swear!!

I'm finally getting around to updating this silly thing. I'm sorry its taken me so long. Everytime I would sit down to update, something would come up and I'd have to take off to do something else.

Matt is spending the afternoon at a shopmates house. I couldn't attend because I'm sitting here waiting ever so impatiently for my new couches to arrive. The ones we bought over a month ago! But I digress. At least they are finally arriving and for that I am thankful. Plus it does get me out of going to this shower/housewarming/marriage reception/give us things party that Matt is at. Neither of us are big fans of this particular couple. I especially am not fond of his wife. They have been married for well over 3 years and just decided last month to re-new their vows this weekend and throw a reception. I'm fine with all that, but I find it rather (just there, the doorbell rang and I had to run down and get the door lol!) odd that we are expected to bring gifts. And that we were assigned a room to bring a gift for. I just think it reaks of tackiness and they just want stuff. So Matt went to get them a $20 gift card for Target.

Meanwhile, I've entered my 8th month of pregnancy. I'm thankful not to be on bedrest yet and everything looks to be going as well as we could possibly hope for at the moment so I'm feeling very relieved. We have a date of July 6th set for induction since I'm not going to be carrying to term so unless Monkey decides to grace us a bit sooner than that, we'll be finally getting to meet our little man that day. Matt's parents as well as my sister will be here for the first few days. Then we're on our own for a week until my mom is able to come out for a couple weeks.

The nursery has all the furniture it needs. Now its just down to a lot or organizing and arrainging, which I must admit is my favorite part of the whole thing! I have more stuff than I know what to do with, but I still have a ton of stuff left to get. Important things like bottles, burp rags, pacifiers and such. I'll be doing that probably in the next week or so. I want Matt to go with me but he's not really into that much and I honestly don't want his indifference to bring me down. He's way more into the ACTUAL baby. He's just waiting for him to get here.

The dog is getting used to being left alone more of the time. He's so used to me being here 24/7 that he gets a tad clingy when I've been gone for a few hours. I still think that Logan is going to be a huge adjustment for him, but I'm feeling a lot better about it than I was.

Matt was promoted to Section Sgt last week at the shop. Means mostly late nights. He won't be getting home until 8 every night. Perfect timing with a brand new baby right? I know it looks good in his file and shows he's responsible and capable of leadership blah blah blah. But a huge part of me wants to scream out that he's not even staying in this field and hello??? What about me?? The joys of being an Army NCO wife I suppose. We'll just go with the flow and hope that this helps him when its time for the MOS change at the beginning of the year.

More sooner rather than later I promise :)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

later

I know I need to update this thing, but my mind is just too busy to focus anything coherant. More later....

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Dumped by my Dr

I got a call from my Dr last night. I've been doing all of my routine tests over the last week or so and all the results were finally in so he called to let me know what the results were.

My ultrasounds all look great. Logan is looking exactly as he should. He is in the 98% for size so we're sticking with the June 25th due date. My glucose came back normal so no gestational diabetes. Which I have to admit was something I was actually really worried about. So that makes me feel better.

Then we got to the protein in the urine and I'm over the 300 parts per cut off. So even though my blood pressure is much lower since I've started taking medication for it, I'm still diagnosed Pre-eclamptic.

Since my Dr is only a 2nd year resident out of the Family Clinic, he's really only equipped to deal with low risk pregnancys. So he's refered me up to OB where they deal with the high risk patients. So now I sit waiting for a phone call from the OB clinic to schedule an appt. It also means I'll be going in for weekly checkups and tests to better manage everything. I'm bummed because I really liked my Dr. However, the universe does have a sense of humor because on Saturday I recieved a letter from Tricare stating that my PCM was leaving and I was re-assigned to the Dr I've been seeing since pregnant so I guess I'll still get to see him anyway lol.

I don't know what this means for how the rest of this pregnancy will play out, but I'm resolved not to worry or stress because that can only make things worse.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Hacked it off

This morning while I was leaving the PX I walked right by the hair place and thought, I'm ready to get rid of this. So I went in and cut about 7 inches off. Wonderful feeling really.

Feeling Accomplished

The last 2 days Matt and I have gotten a ton of stuff done. We bought paint and painted the Logan's room. Well, I'm not allowed to paint, so Matt painted Logan's room and he did a pretty nice job for someone who had never painted before. Did the grocery shopping, which is always a chore with him because he'll spend $100 and come home with absolutely nothing to show for it. Finally got a new hose for the back yard after the dog chewed through the last one. So I can start watering the lawn again.

My dog made out like a bandit this weekend. He got 6 new toys and butcher bone. I think he's actually starting to look forward to us leaving him alone because we bring home treats!

Matt still has to tend to the yard but that can wait for tomorrow since his beloved NCAA final four is on tonight. I must say I'm counting the hours until its over and I can not watch basketball again for an entire year. I'm pretty much good to go. Lots and lots of laundry to do tomorrow but I'll worry about that tomorrow. Then moving baby's things back into the room and starting to really set things up properly!!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Updates and Such

Ok, I'm going to be better about updating this thing, I promise. I feel like this week has drug on for so long and it hasn't even been that busy.

Monday I had another ultrasound because Logan was punching and kicking so much that they couldn't get a clear shot of his hands. So back down to the hospital I go. I hate how much of that goop they put on your belly. No matter how many paper towels you use you can never get all of it off and you feel so gross until you can get home and shower.

I also had to do the 1 hour glucose test to see if I'm developing gestational diabetes. I'm waiting for the results and they should be here next week. I'm not really worried about it but the stuff they make you drink is pure nasty. Its basically thick Hawiian Punch. You only have to drink about 10 oz of the stuff and they give you 5 minutes to drink it all. Trust me, you need the entire 5 minutes! Yuck!

Its Easter weekend and Matt has a long weekend. He's got Friday (today) off for Good Friday but not Monday off for Easter. I think thats weird but apparently its the way most people do things now so fine. We're not doing anything for Easter. We have a giant BBQ coming up in about 2 weeks and I really didn't feel like hosting 2 big events so close together. Plus Easter was never a huge deal in my family so I'm ok letting it slide.

This weekend will be busy for us though. When Matt cleaned out his "Man Room" so I could convert it to Logan's room, I found that he had nailed a bunch of stuff to the wall. I was so annoyed!! So now I have to patch about 2 dozen nail holes in the walls which forces me to have to repaint the room. Only made further annoying because of two reasons: 1) I can't paint. Hello? 7 mos preggo. So that leaves it up to Matt and I so don't trust him to do it all on his own and correctly. Or at least not up to my standards lol. 2) Since we live on Post we have to paint it the exact brand and color that it was originally painted. So I can't just head to Lowe's and get whatever paint is on sale and slather the walls in white. I have to drive into Alabama to track down Dover White. Grrrrr. However, as long as it gets done this weekend, I'll be fine.

We start birthing classes on Tuesday. So that will keep us busy throughout the month. We'll see how well that all works out. They say to bring pillows for comfort because you end up sitting on the floor much of the time. I'm going to end up sleeping much of the time if I bring pillows lol! But I'm thankful that my husband is home to go with me. I'd hate to have to do it alone. I also have to go out and buy a baby doll this weekend for class. Apparently I'll need it to practice with...I feel like I'm 12 going into Babysitting Certification classes!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Logan Christopher

Its a boy!! I'm measuring about 2 weeks further along than we originally thought so it looks like right about July 1st is our new due date.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Busy Sunday

Its Sunday morning and Matt finally has a day off of work. Of course we both have about a hundred things we need to get done today in preperation for the week ahead. He has some paperwork maintenence to attend to for his soldiers, thankfully I bought a new ink cartridge for the printer this week so he can stay home and do it. (PS- bought it on post and it was 8.99! Usually well into the $30 range for my printer) Its also time for him to get back into the yard and do some upkeep. Some of the grass is starting to overtake the back corner again. I have to go to the grocery store, my least favorite thing to do in the world. Straighten the guest room in prep for my mom next weekend. Which means braving both the comissary and the PX on pay day weekend becaue I need new pillows for that room.

Then we are both going to begin to tackle clearing out that cave of a man room Matt has. We're keeping the guest room where it is for obvious reasons. We'll have lots of visitors after the baby comes and we do occasionally have a soldier or two who aren't good to drive after hanging out here so they crash up there as well. I think the room design is cuter and would make a cuter nursery but Matt feels that its too far away from us. So the Man room it is. With our registering next weekend, things will begin to arrive and I want to be able to put them at least in their proper room instead of stacking it in a closet like I do now. He says he's been putting it off because it makes it real. Trust me its real! I'm getting kicked to prove it!

We are taking a time out to watch the US play for hockey gold against Canada this afternoon. That should take out a good 3 hour chunck from our day so we'll see how far we actually make it in the clearing out process. Our goal today is to sift through Matts clothes and move his dresser back into our room. He still has clothes from after his 1st deployment in '03. They don't even come close to fitting him anymore and will stashed in the garage.

Wednesday is finally the day that we get to find out what the hell we are having!!!!! I even got a phone call yesterday to confirm my appt so I know its there waiting for me. I'm putting my foot down for a boy.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Family Everywhere

So it looks like my whining about not being able to come home and visit is starting to pay off. My husband is a horrible secret keeper. I mean, its laughable to me. However, my mom doesn't know that and called last weekend apparently to scheme with him for her to fly in for a suprise visit next weekend!! He let it slip. But i'll play along as if I have no clue what is going on. Honestly, I'm going to cry either way. I tear up just thinking about seeing my mom. Plus she'll be here just in time to help me register thank God! Matt and I have no idea what we're doing.

Also Mi is planning a trip out here the week we were originally going to be back home. She'll be here for a little over a week. So looking forward to that as well. It sucks that you don't realize how much you miss people until they aren't around anymore.

Dave is still planning on coming down in October. To see the baby of course but he also wants to take me to Talledega (sp?) for the Nascar race. A chance for us to hang out and also get me my first break from the baby.

Ash will be down soon after baby's arrival as well. Plus Jessica will be here for about a week in September. Now all I have to do is figure out a way to see Kyle before Christmas. Between his Army thing and ours I'm not sure how that will work out.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Pre-eclampsia

My test reults came back from last week and my Dr. called yesterday to let me know what the results showed, and it isn't great news. Not terrible news, but not great.

Basically my potein levels in my urine were high at 232 parts per. 300 parts per is the diagnosis standard for pre-eclampsia. So while I haven't developed it yet, I have a high probability of developing in the next several weeks. Its still a little early in pregnancy for stone fact diagnosis anyway. However, it means we have to be on the lookout for several things and change a few day to day activities around here.

Pre-eclampsia is big on high blood pressure. So I've been put on meds to lower my BP and we'll see how they are working at my appt next month. I also have to avoid salt in my diet as much as possible, as well as refined sugars. No more cookies and ice cream for Erin :( Continuing to drink lots of fluids and resting when possible.

The only way to get rid of it once you have it, is delivery. So my Dr said that if I do develop it I should be expecting to be put on bed rest for a while at the end and may not be allowed to carry to term. Pre-eclampsia can cause seizures in the mother as well as causing blood to not clot well, liver disfunction. A host of things bad for me. But I was reassured that these complications are not the norm and as long as the condition is found early it is usually very easy to manage. Which made me feel better. Its basically a balancing act of my health and baby's health. We'll keep him/her in there as long as we can, but it may come down to it just not being safe or healthy for either one of us to continue with the preganancy and we have to deliver early. This could mean 5 days early, or weeks early. We just have to wait and see. That only made me scared.

So thats where we stand now. Matt and I are kind of playing the waiting game to see how this all plays out. Both of us have concerns but we're opting for the "cross that bridge when we get to it" outlook. No sense in stressing over something that hasn't happened yet. But I'm doing all the right things and determined to get to a place that is safe and healthy for all involved. Unfortunately this puts me into a high risk category and travel, especially by plane, at 27 and 28 weeks is not in the cards. So for now, we won't be coming home unless things drastically change for the better.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy VDay

Well its Valentine's Day and though we personnaly don't celebrate it, we hope all of you who do have a nice one.

We're not doing much today. Matt wanted to go out to dinner tonight but after my reminder that its Valentine's Day he agreed to ditch that plan. Though I'm not really in the mood to cook a dinner tonight either. So it may just be a quick Brinner or he'll run down the street to McDonalds.

We're watching the Daytona 500 and the Olympics today. Well, I'm watching them, he's reading some mafia book. We got up early this morning and cleaned up the house. It wasn't really dirty just cluttered and I was beginning to feel the walls closing in on me. He did the dishes. Like all the way did the dishes. Which was nice because I had about a million other things of my list of things to do. So now we're relaxing. Amazing Race is back on tonight. Its one of our favorite shows to watch together and we're pretty excited its back so quickly. So thats what our night will consist of. Quarter Pounders and Amazing Race. Aren't we romantic?

This week marks week 19 of pregnancy and we'll see what suprises it brings. I've recently learned that I am allergic to any lotion. Even ones made specifically for pregnant women with extremely sensitive skin. Which is awful since its so cold and dry here that my skin has pretty much started to grow scales. Its getting more difficult to walk the dog without his harness on because he pulls so much, and with this baby out from I seem to be a bit off balance and more tipsy than normal. Going to have to start waiting for Matt to get home to walk the dog with me. Its easier to just do it later in the day than to argue with the dog for 40 minutes about getting his harness on.

It also brings about Matt and my 4 year anniverssary. 4 years ago we were set up on a blind date and other than deployments and TDY trips we have yet to go a day without seeing eachother. Wow, thats either super cute or totally sad. I can't decide ♥

We're waiting with baited breath to hear from Barb about Laurie and April and impending babydom. We'll keep our fingers crossed that Laurie doesn't go into Labor on her own before Wednesday!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

So we got snow this weekend. Matt was supposed to be in Florida. We got up early and I took him to the rental car place just as it was beginning to come down. We had heard we could expect up to 4 inches, so he was anxious to get out of town before it started to pour, and I was in a mad dash to make it to the hospital and have my blood drawn then to the store to get some groceries for the weekend as I don't drive in snow. I managed to get all of it done in about an hour and then just as I was pulling into housing, my phone rang. Matts mission was cancelled due to weather. Wouldn't you know it was actually snowing in Florida!

So here we sit in the house. We did end up with a good 6 inches of snow. It snowed heavy and steady all day. We took the dog out for a walk in it. He wouldn't go outside all morning. He didn't understand what it was and didn't want any part of it. Then after his walk, and after Matt and I were frozed and soaking wet, we couldn't get him to come back in the house. He just ran around with his nose buried in the snow. It was quite cute. We got some awesome pictures that will be posted soon.

Matt is glad to not have to work as he as worked every weekend lately. And he's especially glad that it happens to be a 4 day weekend. He's taking full advantage of lounging about the house in pjs. So long as no one gets into trouble this weekend we're pretty much on our own little island.

I'm feeling fine. Little growing pains but nothing compared to before. At my Dr appt last week my blood pressure was a bit high. I've always had high blood pressure but this was high even for me. So we've run some tests to rule out pre-eclampsia and I should get the results sometime next week. He's not worried about it but decided to do it as a precautionary measure. Better to know now than to be suprised by it later on. We listened to the heart beat and its going strong so that wonderful news. This was Matts first time with me at the Dr and I had the dopiest grin when we heard the heartbeat. He's going to be a mess when we have the ultrasound and he can see baby for the first time!

April's wife, Laurie has been scheduled for a c-section this Wednesday. Her dr feels that her baby is too big for her to work out on her own so he's decided to go in and get her. I know he wanted to do the operation on Friday but Laurie said that was too soon and she needed a few days to prepare. I'm just hoping that she doesn't go into labor between now and then. Not much of a choice when baby decides to come. So Allie Emma will be here within the next few days. Barb has flown down to Mexico for a week or so to help get things settled. So we'll wait to hear news from her when the baby makes her arrival.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

No Go

Just got back from the Dr and we're slated for an ultrasound in about a week and a half. The big boss lady said to wait until we officially hit 20 weeks. So we're waiting. I'm totally bummed. Ugh.

And We're off

So we're off to the Dr to hopefully get an ultrasound and find out what the heck we are having....wish us luck!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Welcome to My Mind

Basically Matt and I thought it would be a good idea to start a blog that our distant friends and family could read to keep up with us. So follow us on this journey through pregnancy and impending parenthood all within the wacky world that is Army life.