MOS

So today I was finally able to track down someone with a brain at MOS and get some counseling sessions set up. My first appointment is on Friday. Which seems strange because its Veteran's Day but fine. It actually works out well for me because Matt has the day off. My appointment is in the evening so I'll be around to get Logan fed dinner and in pj's then Matt can put him down and I can come home to quiet and just process which I think is probably a good thing.

I haven't told Matt yet though.

My entire family has a history of depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed with depression myself shortly after starting college and moving out on my own. It took a few years to find a med that worked for me. When I got pregnant, I had to go off my meds. Which was an adjustment for a while. But after I had Logan and my hormones stopped being crazy and everything balanced out again, I didn't want to go back on the meds. I didn't realize how just how much they effect me until I didn't have them in my system anymore. I really thing that being pregnant and giving birth normalized my body chemistry a lot after all was said and done. I wouldn't classify myself as depressed anymore per se.

But I do have stress management issues. I tend to get frazzled over the silliest of things. And I just completely shut down when I get overwhelmed. There is no talking to me. I just ignore you. And if I do acknowledge you, I snap. I can be very mean. Its not something I'm proud of but its true. And that is a trait I don't like and would like to do something about. Of course I went to my dr to get referred for a therapist and he tried to throw pills at me. Why take the time to figure out and cope with something when you can just take a pill and cover it up? What they don't tell you is that it covers up other parts of you too. I don't want to take meds. I don't want to put things into my body that aren't there naturally if I can help it. So I called MOS and thought hey we'll give this a try.

Like I said, my first appointment is on Friday night so we'll see how it goes. I'll post after and let you all know.