Twitchy?

Do you ever feel like something is wrong but you can't put your finger on just what it might be?

For the last week I haven't gotten any sleep. I mean perhaps 90 minutes - 2 hours a night. I'm drowning in exhaustion. I've get into bed, I read my book (per usual) until my eyes get heavy and then I turn off the lights..........and nothing. I toss and turn. I can't seem to get comfortable, almost like I can feel my muscles contracting in protest of relaxation. Then my mind starts to race and I feel like I've forgotten something. I go over in my mind locking every door, turning on and off all the appropriate lights, checking the volume of the baby monitor. Then I physically get up and retrace my steps to make sure I actually did all the things I remember doing. Yep. I'm not crazy. Back to bed. Again my body won't ease. I know it isn't my bed. We just bought it less than a year ago and I went out and bought a super thick memory foam topper for it and its heaven. Like sleeping on a cloud.

The first night it happened it was extremely windy outside with thunderstorms rolling in and I knew it was supposed to be a pretty bad storm. Right before I went to bed we went under a tornado warning. As I lay in bed I could hear the wind gaining speed and could only think I hadn't cleaned out the closet downstairs that is our "tornado room" and the dog didn't have his collar on so how was I going to wrangle him with a kid in my arms. Then there was that feeling that something wasn't right. What I imagine it would feel like if you awoke in the darkness of your room and someone was there who shouldn't be. I actually called Matt at the shop to ask what time he thought he would be home because I knew I wasn't going to have any hope of sleep until he did. I have never called Matt at work. Not when his grandmother died, not when I was I was having a miscarriage, never. So I think he sensed I must have been really upset because he came home a little earlier than expected.

But even since then I can't seem to get in the groove of sleep. I just feel like this shoe somewhere out in the universe is about to drop on us. Nothing in our life is particularly stressful or strained. Just the everyday life of married couple with a baby. He is coming up on his re-enlistment and he is changing jobs and it leaves a lot of uncertainty in the somewhat near future, but thats military life. I accept it. I will go with the flow. Plan where I can and create plans B, C and D for the things I can't.

So why can't I sleep??