PTSD boundaries

This has been on my mind for a while. And I will fully admit that I may talking out of my ass on this topic. I've been incredibly lucky that even given all the horrific crap Matt has seen over his deployments he doesn't suffer from PTSD.

Where do you draw the line between loyalty to your husband/his career and the safety of those he works with?

It seems to irrational to me that I would know Matt suffers from PTSD and I would knowingly send him off to war.

First of all, its absolutely counter productive to the soldier with PTSD. How is continually sending them into the situation that caused the problem in the first place going to help that problem?

Secondly it seems so unsafe for the people working with and around the affected soldier. How many times do you hear people tell you not to worry the soldier with the little things going wrong at home? That they need their head to be 110% in the game while they are gone. Well isn't a mental illness by definition not 100% in control? I don't care how much someone tells me that it doesn't effect the way they do their job, it does on some level. And I have to tell you if someone caused my husband to get injured and people knew about an illness or disorder and didn't say anything about it, I'd be beyond words. They are just as responsible for his injuries.

Also if something were to happen and Matt came home with PTSD who says I have to be miserable because of it?

For better or worse. I get that. And I would never leave Matt if he came home with a physical injury. Lost limb, blind, paralysis whatever, we'll deal, overcome and move forward with life. I think of PTSD in the same light. Its not something I would ever leave Matt for, as long as he was willing to acknowledge it and work on it. I understand being understanding and working with the cards we are dealt. I would support him through it 150%. But if he chooses to ignore the problem thats where I draw the line. I don't have to live with a husband who is mean, de-tached, emotionally unavailable, using vices (ie alcohol, porn, excessive compulsions) to deal. And my kid certainly doesn't have to live with it.

I know why soldiers don't get help but at what point does personal responsibility come into play?

At what point do you say I love you and I support you but this is no longer your decision. You are a liability to the mission and you need help to get back to being an asset. We'll do it together but you have to be willing to work just as hard as I am.