I think I might have a few minutes to catch up on the blogging. Not that I really have much to blog about. Life is pretty routine and boring around here.

School sucks. Not in a difficult way, its actually pretty easy. Lots of reading and question answering. Which is why it sucks. At this point it isn't challenging me and is sooooo boring. Which in a way is probably a blessing because I don't really have time for anything that challenges me. I need things to be as simple as possible in life right now. Except I hate that. I've never ever liked things to be really easy. Challenge is the way you grow as a person and get to know the real you. If you never have to face a challenge you are never faced with having to be honest with yourself.

I think I have seasonal depression. Except backwards. Sun makes me sad. I hate it. I love rain. The sound, the cold, the smell. I love to walk in the rain. I live in the absolute wrong part of the country. We have 8 months of sun (and humid heat to boot) and the rainy season just happens to include the threat of sever tornados....so either way is not the best situation. I'm going home in about 3 weeks and I'm desperately hoping the constant rain they have continues after I get there. My luck the 3 weeks of summer they get a year will come early.

Ah my trip home. Can I tell you how much I am rapidly becoming more and more distressed about it. To the point that I really am not looking forward to it. At. All. First there are the irrational fears. If I see one more freaking story on the news about crazy people trying to pry the airplane doors open mid flight or the Air Traffic Controllers who fall asleep in the middle of their damn shift I am going to scream and swear off flying for the rest of my life. I do not need the vision of my son getting sucked out of a plane dancing through my head as I wait to board. The last time I flew with him I wasn't worried at all. So why does it bother me so much this time? Who knows. Motherhood is a constant evolution. Things that didn't bother me 6 months ago scare the crap out of me now. Things that I would have been 100% against as a parent 3 months ago are things I swear by now so maybe by the time I actually get on the damn plane I think its the greatest trip of a lifetime.

Now for the rational reason: I think my parents (mom and stepdad) are headed for divorce. And its going to come to head right about the time I come home. Great. Just how I wanted to spend my trip home. Family drama. They don't fight in a yelling and screaming kind of way. That would be easy to avoid. They fight without fighting. My mom says exactly what she's thinking, usually without tact or concern for his feelings, and then he gets pissy. Its that heaviness thats in the air when people are like that I can't stand. You feel nothing but gross tenseness. Ugh. What makes it worse is that my mom and I are best friends. So when she's mad at him about something she calls me. I know every detail of their relationship on a day to day basis and I don't like it. I am a firm believer in not discussing relationship issues with family. Sure I tell my mom when Matt does something dumb (like when he didn't talk to me for hours because he slept until after the hair cut place closed. And thought common sense meant that I should wake him up before they closed, even though I have no idea when they close. And I thought common sense was that he would set an alarm if he knew he needed to be up at a certain time....but whatever) but I would never tell her about something that was really an issue. Because then she knows all the details (and inevitably tells the rest of the family) and then after Matt and I work it out she still holds a grudge. Thats the way families work. You tell them the bad and they keep tally. I don't need that from them. Even worse is that Dave and I actually get along and have built a pretty good relationship and bond. So now what happens when they split up? Am I not supposed to talk to him anymore? Does he not get to be involved in my kid's life ever again? Its just too complicated.