Crazy will always be crazy

I really don't understand. Is there something wrong with me? Am I some crazy bitch who just doesn't know it? I would think that if I were that bad I wouldn't have the awesome friends that I do. I wouldn't probably have any friends at all. I wouldn't have a husband who adores me. I just don't get it.

Some of you may remember about 6 months ago a close friend of mine here seemingly dropped off the face of the planet. We had a conversation via email and she took something I said the wrong way and just stopped answering calls, texts, emails, deleted me from Facebook, the whole nine yards. I know that conversations via email there is no tone of voice, no afflection of the face so its easy to misconstrue something that is typed. So after a couple days I sent her an email saying I wasn't sure what had happened but that I was sorry if I offended her or made her upset in any way. But also that my feelings were hurt because she didn't speak to me about whatever it was. That I thought we were better friends than that and I certainly have no problem explaining myself or answering her if she comes to me with a problem. She emailed me back and we were fine. I had put on my Facebook page that I was hurt when a supposed friend just cut me off and didn't bother to come to me. The response was the same from many of my friends, wasn't the friend you thought she was, its fine you're better off without her and so on. Well I can only assume that she went back thru my Facebook page after we cleared the air and saw that posting from a few days before and dropped me again. Again with no word at all. So at that point I called it good and walked away.

That was in January. Now for some reason this girl has been in my head for the last couple weeks. I don't know why the universe put her in my head but it did. On Wednesday last week I found out. Matt came home and told me that her husband was the NCO who had been picked to go to Honduras for 6 months, leaving in July. Matt had been up for this trip for a while but was told he was too big of an asset to the shop to send. So they were going to send someone else from another section of the unit. I was not at all surprised when he told me that her husband had been picked because he is extremely reliable, a hard worker and very trustworthy. Also he and a senior NCO have been having some personality conflicts and getting them away from eachother was a priority. So after a couple days of thinking about it, I decided to reach out an olive branch to the girl. I figured this was why the universe had popped her into my brain. I know she doesn't have many friends here, she lives off post about 40 minutes so she isn't really connected to the community either. Also I figured she wouldn't be moving back home to Arkansas because she avoided even going home on leave. Her family and her in laws are not the greatest. I just thought it couldn't hurt to have another person available to help if she needed anything. I know 6 months is a long time to be apart from your spouse even if they aren't going into a war zone. She also has a 3 year old son so it never hurts to add to your support system.

Last Friday I sat down and wrote her an email. I just told her that I wasn't sure what had happened between us but that I was sorry for it and I wasn't interested it drudging it back up or talking about it. I just wanted to clear the air and let her know that I missed her friendship and was willing to start off fresh and anew if she was too. If not, that was fine too but that life on my end was calm and going fairly well and I hoped the same was true for her and her family. I got no response. Ok, guess thats my answer.

Then on Sunday or Monday morning I recieved a friend request from her on Facebook. I accepted. There was no direct interaction between us after that. Just friends on Facebook.

Yesterday I was having an epic battle with Tmobile. I got my email that my bill was ready to view so I went and looked at it. Normally a bill around $100 was suddenly over $200. It was listed as data charges. Matt and I don't have smart phones. No internet, no email, nothing. So I went and looked at our individual phone statments for downloading charges or something and nada. The only place these data charges were is in the final line of the bill. So I called Tmobile and spoke to them. They said they would look into it and call back within a couple hours. By the end of the day I still hadn't heard from them so I called back. This is of course after Matt got home and I filled him in on the billing issue. When I called Tmobile back I was given the good old transfer to 5 different people in 5 different departments. Nothing was accomplished. They are going to get back to me by the end of the week. Our bill isn't due for a couple more weeks so as long as it is fixed by then its fine. I really don't care. Matt however is furious. If I didn't pay attention to it or he had paid the bill it would have just been paid including the overcharge. He has no idea what the phone bill usually is and the bill is an automatic payment from our account so if I hadn't checked on it and stopped the auto pay, we would have just overpaid. He told me to file a complaint with them. I don't care enough to spend the energy and time to do that. They'll fix it and I'm not paying it so its not that big of a deal. Matt thinks it is. And he got me a little heated about it too after we discussed it further.

So I put a status on my Facebook: "Do I remain pissed in silence or do I say something. I don't really care enough to put forth the effort, but I feel like not saying anything makes them think they won." One of my friends asked who was in trouble and I responded that no one was in trouble. I just seriously dislike being dismissed and ignoring me won't make me go away. Then all hell broke loose.

This woman apparently assumed that I was talking about her or to her indirectly and commented "OMG!!! I knew it!!! What were you just being nosy trying to find out what I've been up to the last few months when you messaged me? Ignoring you may not make you go away but deleting and blocking you sure will. Grow up and get a life!!!".........HUH?

This remained on my page for over an hour until I saw it and promptly removed it. I was so embarassed that she would put something like that on there. Not everyone knows my history with this chick so I can only imagine what they thought when they saw that. My comfort came in the form of my friends who came riding to my rescue. Most of them calling her out on the inappropriateness of her comment and her ego level if she thinks something like that is directed towards her. Someone even asked her what she had done to feel so guilty about to cause her to be so defensive. Even after I removed it and simply stated that crazy will always be crazy, friends who hadn't seen the display and had no idea what was going on messaged me to ask if it was said girl being weird again. I love my friends.

I was sick for hours. I literally felt like I was going to be sick. I had to talk to Matt about it (and if you know Matt at all, he detests drama like this. He likes his life as simple as possible and wants nothing to do with it) in case her husband confronted him about it at work. I was also embarassed to tell him. I didn't want him thinking I went out of my way to start something with this woman. He of course knew I was just trying to be nice and said I just had a really big crazy attractor. He said if her husband approached him he would just explain she was talking about our phone company and if your wife took it different we were sorry but that wasn't his problem and he didn't want to be involved in it.

I just don't get it. Why would I go out of my way to apologize (again!) only to do something like this to her. One thing I have never been accused of is not being direct. I would never say anything about someone that I wouldn't say to them. If I was talking about her I certainly would have made it clear by putting her name or something. Why would I take the time to get her back on my Facebook page just to be passive aggressive about something. Don't you think I would want to make sure she saw it and knew it was about her??? Wouldn't I have just sent her a bitch email in the first place and not a nice one. Why set myself up for disaster if I wasn't genuine??

Then this morning I saw that she had unblocked me again. So I promptly got rid of her and blocked her on my end. As well as any friends she has here. I don't want to have any direct line to me at all. I guess I should have just stayed the bitch. I'll know better next time I guess.