My world is falling apart and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I don't know how to even begin to pick up these pieces and put them back together into something else. I'm supposed to be here, doing this.....so how is the Universe sending me back. I'm good at this. I'm not good at whatever that is. I'm numb and going into hiding for a while.

6 Days and Counting...

Christmas is 6 days away and I feel like I have so much to do to prepare for it, but really I'm pretty good to go. Matt's mom is coming down this year. All by herself. Which is wonderful. So I have to start the required cleaning for her visit. Normally I would want the house spic and span before a family visit but honestly, I just don't care that much. If you can't have an unkept house for family, who can you have it for. So I'll do the basics and of course make sure the guest room is comfortable. Other than that, I have a toddler so the house is just never going to be prestine. 

I also feel badly that my house isn't decorated for the holidays. MIL always decorates so nicely for things and all I've got done is a tree and wreath on the door. I started to put some things out but nothing is beyond reach of Logan. Most of my decorations for the holidays are from Gramme and are therefore not at all replaceable and I'm not willing to part with them. So they will stay in storage for the next few years until Logan can be trusted with them. Hopefully she won't hold it against me.

*USMC*EODWIFE

Where did you go? What happened? We're worried sick!! And yes I realize the level of sadness and how way too attached our group is to one another that I've had to resort to sending you an SOS via blog and then posting it on Pinterest :) email me e.e.oneill07@gmail

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. We have no plans. Not a single thing. Even did the grocery shopping already so don't even have to worry about that. We may go do Logan's Christmas card photo shoot tomorrow. But I honestly haven't gotten in touch with our friend who's doing them so I don't know what his plans are.

I ordered the last of Logan's gifts today. Now I need to get the grandparents. But I'll have those sent directly to them so it can wait. I want to gather more pictures to stuff their photo books full of anyway.

Matt went to bed early tonight and he's on Logan patrol in the morning so I'm sitting up here watching Say Yes to the Dress. How awful is that?! LOL. Talk about a guilty pleasure. I was working on Logan's stocking....but that lasted an hour or so and I was done. I'm working on the detailing and I don't absolutely hate it. Its meticulous and time consuming. I feel like I work on something forever and all I have to show for it is some facial features. At least at the end when you sew everything all together you feel accomplished. Even getting to the point of sewing on sequins would excite me. I'll finish this minutia in the morning and hopefully move on to the more fun stuff.

I'm ready for bed. Hopefully Matt doesn't mind me turning on the light and reading a little before I crash out lol

Bye Bye Baby

Matt is going TDY in just a few hours and I haven't been this excited to have the house to myself in a loooong time. I always enjoy my night or two of quiet but after the long week and having sooo many people here on Thanksgiving...I'm ready for solitude. The house is finally all cleaned up. The fridge is devoid of tin foil wrapped things and tupperware containers. In fact tonight I'm making nachos for dinner. Just because I can.

I got the tree up yesterday. Matt drug it in from the garage and I managed to get it up and strung with lights before Logan got up from his nap yesterday. Quite the feat considering I left the tree is a disasterous mess when I put it away last year. I think I'll put the ornaments on tonight after Logan goes to bed. It is going to take a little more effort since I need to strategically place certain ornaments that can't be replaced if Logan got a hold of them.

In fact I think I'll decorate the tree with hot cocoa and an encore of Miracle on 34th Street tonight :)

If....

I've seen a few fellow bloggers do this and since I don't have much in my head bursting to get out, I thought I'd do this.

If you could live anywhere in the US....

Growing up, I hated where I lived. I grew up and lived in Seattle until I was 15. I then moved to Tacoma, another city about an hour south of Seattle. I wanted to move away when I got out of school. Not necessarily because I didn't like it, but more because it was blah to me. It was stale. Stale in the way that something you've known an experienced your life can become stale. I had no positive or negative feelings towards it, I was indifferent. Then I moved away. You know, its funny. When Matt and I started dating he always talked about being home and how you don't appreciate how fantastic this place was until you lived somewhere else. There is a spot on I-5 when you are driving north, and just as you pass Boeing field up come up a hill and at the top of that hill is a curve in the road. When you make that curve its the first sight you catch of the downtown Seattle skyline. He would always get so excited just to see it. Like it was his sign he was home. I always made fun of him and how its not that great and I would love to live somewhere else, just to experience something different. Now that I'm doing just that, I miss home terribly. It is the best place in the world, for me. The weather, the mountains, the water, the smell, the people. And of course both our families are there and now, with Logan, it will be nice when he can get to know his family the way I know his family. And on a daily basis. So for me, the answer will always be Seattle.

If you could have any talent in the world.....

I really wish I could dance. I'm not just bad, I'm horrible. I am a white girl trying to find a rythym and its not even in the same zip code as me. I love to dance. I grew up at the height of the teen/bubble gum pop craze. Boy bands and Britney Spears and cheorgraphed dance videos. I remember my best friend and I studying those videos and performances for hours and learning the dances. I don't know why exactly other than we thought it was cool to dance along with them. So I wish I was a better dancer. I don't need to be great, but not embarrassing would be nice.

If you met me in real life.......

You would probably think I'm a bitch. I tend to be very quiet and reserved when first meeting people an it makes me come off as snarky or rude. I also as a general rule don't like people. And I wouldn't say that I dislike everyone upon meeting them, I would say that I am indifferent to people until they give me a reason to like them. I am also extremely sarcastic and flippant. Its my comfort zone and where I live. You would decide rather quickly whether you love me or hate me. I don't find many people that are in the middle when it comes to their opinion of me.

If money were not an object.....

I would travel everywhere. There are a million places I want to go and things I want to see but probably Europe and mostly Paris. I would bum around Paris and just exsist.

If I could meet one celebrity......

I don't know if he qualifies as a celebrity, but he's certainly famous and known the world over, so I think he counts. Bill Clinton. I love Bill Clinton. I think he is one of the smartest people on the planet and the way he's utilitzing his time after his presidency is amazing to me. I've always said my dream is to sit down and play a game of chess with him. One because I'm pretty good at it, also because it can last hours and would give me a chance to talk to him and pick his brain about everything I could imagine.

If you could shop one store for the rest of your life.....

I wish I had a different answer for this, but its Walmart. I've never walked into a Walmart to get something and them not have it. I would just have to have my own personal Walmart that "normal Walmart folk" didn't know existed and couldn't get to. Though, isn't that part of the experience of Walmart???

If you could choose one animal/pet.......

As uncool as this answer is, it would still be my dog. He's my Boo Boo and he truly belongs with us.

If I could go on a trip right now....

I would go home. Its the holiday season and that always makes me miss friends and family. I also have this irrational fear that my family won't do holidays the "right" way when I'm gone. Like I've been intrusted with the way my Great Grandmother always did them and how I grew up and if I'm not there to make sure it stays the same, it will be messed up. That was always my favorite time of year and some of my best memories growing up so I insist on things being just so.

If you had to choose between a house cleaner or a personal chef.....

Yeah no brainer. Totally a house cleaner. I enjoy cooking. It de-stress' me. If I could get away with not cleaning again as long as I live I would give just about anything.

Broken

This is how I feel lately...I don't know why. I need........something.